Tuesday, September 13, 2011

See this is me

Alright, you know how they say a picture is worth a thousand...umm...something. These definitely aren't. They are in fact pictures of myself which is why they're worthless. I'm just trying to show you who I am while trying to find the right picture. Don't ask what the right picture is because I don't know.






Vision This


This is how I picture my book cover to look. Now don't get to excited because I haven't actually started writing it. Okay, I lie...I've written like 10 pages in a spiral notebook back when I was in high school. I'm probably going to scrap those and start over. Maybe, I'll add some parts from that though just for an idea.

1.) I wrote in 3rd person and when I started up again I was writing in first person.  I really don't know which I prefer. I thought that first person would be easier, but I was reading where it's harder for new writers to write in first person. -shrugs-
2.) I went back and decided to rename all my characters. I like unique names that fit the character.
3.) I had some new plots I wanted to add, and I don't think I could have with the way it was going.

Now as you can see I picked a title, but I'm not sure I'm going to stick with it. When I first started this idea I had picked another one entitled Whose life? then I thought Dreaming Wide Awake. So I'm still going over it in my head. I know you may not understand the reasoning behind the titles so here's a little something to help you out. Maybe.

"Knowing a persons fate is easy, it’s forgetting that fate that’s truly hard. If  
I knew that it would turn out to be the “happily ever after” ending it wouldn’t be as bad, but knowing they never stand a chance well it pretty much sucks. Still, I want to save them, I believe I can save them, I have to save them. I can’t really explain why I see what I see. I can’t turn it on and off, and soon I’ll learn that I REALLY can’t save them."
My mom used to always tell me that what I could do was a gift, but honestly I didn’t see it that way. People always get hurt. How is seeing someone get hurt a gift? I can’t change the outcome. There’s really no rhyme or reason for them. You would think that since I don’t know these people that it wouldn’t even matter. What do I care if some thuggish looking boy meets his end while he shoots up? Or how about the older guy who is accused of sexually abusing his child, and he has so much guilt he kills himself? The prostitute who is beaten in the alley way just because she dresses sluttish? Did they deserve to meet their ends just because they did bad things in their lives? Should I care more if it is a single mother of 2, working two jobs, who gets hit by a drunk driver who lives? How about a little boy who has leukemia and the doctors only give him a month to live? Or those people who just happen to be in the wrong places at the wrong times? Do I give more attention to them. No, because there’s nothing I can do for any of them. Those lives are on a path. They were put in those situations for a reason. I can’t intervene. These are the things I see. Why? Your answer is as good as mine.
 Did you find that interesting? I hope so because at the moment that's all I have. Sad huh?

Monday, September 12, 2011

Untitles Book 2

This is actually a book that my friend and I had started. (Before some stuff went down between us. She somewhat apologized since then, but we have yet to actually talk.) Anyways, I figured since I had already written a few different "Chapters" I would just go ahead, and put them up here. Let me know what you think. I may put up what we had put together, and the back story to it at a later date.

My Characters:

-Reed Castle
Human, Shaggy brown hair, Born January 2,1994, 26 years old, dark green eyes, graduated from the University of Texas at Austin, he was offered a job worth a bit more then a new doctor usually gets but turned it down when he found an ad online for doctors who are more interested in "helping those who are less likely to be helped",so he's now a doctor intern at the S.M.R. under Dr. Sizemore.

Reed Chp 1


-Emberlyn Ray
Vampire, born July 23,1998, Named Emberlyn Fayth Ray, Nickname is Em or E.R, jet black wavy hair, hazel eyes, 22 years old, only one in her family turned into a vampire when the epidemic hit because she stepped in front to protect her younger sister, ran off to keep her family safe from herself, sister is Amberly, Emberlyn stumbled upon the Sacred Mortal Recovery (S.M.R) and checked herself in no longer wanting to be a vampire and wanting her family back.

Emberlyn's Prologue



-Amberly Ray
Human, Born June 3rd, 2002, Named Amberly Grace Ray, Reddish auburn hair with blonde streaks, 18 years old, green eyes, human attacked by a vampire but her sister Emberlyn got in the way of the attack and got bit, she wants to find her sister who took off after the attack.

Amberly Chp 1

-Zeke Thornes
Vampire, Born October 30,1996, Named Zeke Isaac Thornes, Spiky bluish black hair, 24 years old, piercing blue eyes, turned into a vampire on his own free will when a group of his friends and him thought it would be cool to hunt down the vampires hangout and change, turns out he was wrong, he can't be around his family because they want nothing to do with him.

Shad Martin
Vampire, posing as a human, 19 years old, goes to school with Amberly, brown short hair, green eyes,

Poetry from a Different Mind

Growing up, I always thought I had a pretty good child hood, and up until my teenage years I did. It's weird how you don't fully realize how good you had it until you lose it. Let's see up until my 6th grade year I had the "picture perfect family" or so I thought. I don't remember exactly how I was told that my mom had left, but I do remember that it hurt...alot. After that everything just didn't seem to matter anymore. My mom meant alot to me, and at 13 or 14 years old that's when a girl needs her mom the most. (In my opinion anyways)

Although I didn't actually start writing until I was older I think that was probably a major breaking point for me.

Categories

Death:
Death Wish

Depression
I Go Through Life
She's So Unusual


Family

Friends
Don't Want to Lose You


Love

Miscellenouos

About the Author

 

NAME: Ashley O
NICKNAMES: Ash (people are so original huh?)
D-O-B: April 4,1986
SIGN: Aries
HOMETOWN: Benbrook, Texas
OCCUPATION: CPhT (Certified Pharmacy Tech)

MORE WILL BE ADDED!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Reed Chpt 1

REED (DR.CASTLE)

In the short time I have been working at S.M.R. I have seen my share of deaths maybe more than one person should, but I knew it would happen going into this field. Also by doing so I knew that I could help those who others deemed as “unworthy.”

The little blonde girl in room 102 was one of my latest patient. Like all the other younger patients I had high hopes that she would pull through the treatment. As most of our younger vampires frequently did. This was something I and Dr. Sizemore had been working on. We were trying to understand why it happened this way. Why the younger a vampire is the easier the serum seems to take to the blood. Sadly, though this case took a turn for the worse. As Dr. Sizemore study the young vampire. He had the look I knew all to well. As much as he wanted the girl to live, we both knew it wasn’t going to happen. The serum and sedative had done more damage to the girls body then it had good. But the good ‘ole Dr wouldn’t give up he’d try anything to “save” the girl if it meant giving this child her life back and a child back to her parents.

“Dr. Castle, there’s one other option, but it could be tricky with her.” I looked at him about to ask what he was talking about when the girl stopped struggling. The monitor flat lined. We were to late.

When these deaths happened Dr. Sizemore was not the one to stand around for to long and mourn. He always told me for every one we lose there are four others that we save.

“Dr. Sizemore….” Before I could finish my sentence he was heading out of the room.

“Dr. Castle.” That’s all he needed to say. Those two words with his tone of voice was enough for me to know this conversation was intended for closed office talk between me and him only.

I preceded to follow him, but not before glancing back at my nurses.

Looking over at Brylynn I could see she was saddened. Her eyes always gave her away, and not just because she was crying. To me she seemed like she wanted to save the world one vampire at a time. That was a lot for one person, but I admired her for it. I looked over at Wendy who throughout everything that just happened was calm even though I knew it had to have broken her heart to, even for a vampire she showed more compassion for us mortals then our own did at times.

I had learned the hard way that a lot of people didn’t feel the same way the staff here at S.M.R felt. It was sad really! These patients were people regardless of what the news and media called them.

Passing the guards on my way out I nod to them. “Evening ya’ll.” They returned the gesture, Julian (I believe that’s his name) even replies, “Same to you Dr. Castle.” as he walks over to Brylynn.

I leave the room and head down the hall to find Dr. Sizemore. The man just disappears sometimes.

It’s about 8:30pm now. It’s the time most of the vampires are waking up. Some stay holed up in their rooms for fear of what they might do, others are out and about the Center.

On my way to find Avery I stop in on a few of my other patients rooms to check on them.

In room 113, I have an older, gentleman, around the age of 50. I knock on his door and announce that it’s just me, Dr. Castle, because I learned early on that it’s better to announce yourself. Some patients are not eager to have new faces in their rooms.

“Dr, come in.” he said.

As I open the door and walk in I look around the room, it’s pitch dark. All I can see is his outline sitting in the chair over by his window.

“Is it alright to turn on the light Mr. Clem?” as I stumble my way over to the side table with the lamp on it.

“If you wish I shall not stop you.” He sits perfectly still in his chair. I fumble with the lamp and finally manage to turn it on. I look up and over at the older Vampire.

I walk over to him, “Mr. Clem, are you reading in the dark?”

It shouldn’t of surprised me I knew all to well that vampires had extraordinary abilities. One of which was seeing perfectly well in the dark.

“Yes, Dr. sadly I am. It’s amazing what you learn from books when you read them over and over again.” He sets the book on his lap and continues on “I spent most my life teaching history to the kids. You would think I would know everything there is to know, but I don’t.’ His voice trails off.

I look at him, his gray thinning hair, hazel eyes, his bushy gray eyebrows, the mustache that looked like the kfc dudes . He reminds me of what a History teacher would look like.

“I’m sure you were a great teacher Sir. Those kids were lucky to have you as one.” I could spot the signs of depression easily, and he was extremely close to that state.

“Yes, I suppose, but those kids compared me to all those younger, hip teachers they brought in. They didn’t know any better and they just didn‘t care about history especially the way I taught it.”

I sat at the foot of his bed . Rubbing my chin with my hand. I considered what to say next not wanting to push it to far. “Well that school has no idea what an intelligent man you are. It’s their loss.” I smile awkwardly at him.

Mr. Clem looked at me in almost a regretful way. “Well we all do stupid things that in the end only make things worse. Don’t you forget that Dr. Castle.” His eyes returned to his book and he picked it up form his lap. I got up from the bed and began to leave contemplating what he could have meant by that. Was he trying to tell me more of his story? The only things I knew about him were things that had been written into the report which wasn‘t very much, but I didn’t see how it was relevant to what we had just talked about.

“Dr….”

‘Yes, Mr. Clem?”

“Could you please get the light. It would be greatly appreciated.”

“Yes, Sir.” I walked to the night stand and turned the light back off and again stumbled my way back to the door. I took one last look at him and just couldn’t help but wonder. I walked out and shut the door behind me.

Passing the patients in the hallways I always get nods, what’s ups, hellos, and how are yous. It’s always nice. Even if their not my patients most of them know me. I can honestly say that a few of the female patients and probably nurses here have a thing for me. They look at me, I know because watching people is somewhat of a hobby for me. It helps me learn about them. It’s a dr thing apparently because I’ve noticed Dr. Sizemore and a few others doing it too. Anyways, I try not to think to much about it because truthfully nothing would ever happen. Simple as that back home in Texas it was the same way, the girls always took an interest in me and because they did I had my share of girlfriends. It never worked out for me with any of them. Stupid and young was not a good combo it made me very arrogant and it ruined relationships, or maybe it was the fact that I had more than 1 relationship going. So I’m trying to work on it, trying to leave that me back in Texas. Now I like to think I grew up some, but no ones perfect so of course I was seeing someone who worked here.

“Oh, Dr.?’ Turning around to the sound of her voice, there she stood just as perfect as ever. Even in scrubs she looked good.

I smile at her “Allison, you’re here late.”

She just grins, “Yes, Dr. I figured I could use a few extra hours and since my favorite Dr. is working tonight it would be a bonus. Don‘t you agree?”

I can’t help but smile. “Yes, I believe that is what they would call a bonus.”

Allison walks over to me and kisses me on the cheek, “So what is on our agenda for tonight?”

I shake my head, “Ally, we have the schedule worked out already. Nurse Brylynn is the one on my rotation tonight, but you can do me a favor and go see if she has the paperwork done for Kelly Baker, and bring it to me. I’ll be in Dr. Sizemore’s office.”

I had yet to get my own office so I shared one which was fine I learned a lot by being able to sit in there while Dr. Sizemore was right beside me.

“Fine.” Allison stomped off towards the nurses’ station.

“Thank you Ally.” She was already half way down the hall though so she didn’t hear me or she was ignoring me now. My guess was the second. Allison was one of those girls that was use to getting her way, and if she didn’t well let’s just say you had to spend a lot of time saying sorry or buy her something most normal people didn’t have money to buy.

I walked down the long maze of hallways in the building towards the stairs. I hated elevators, and tried to avoid them at all cost. The music that played in them was just eerie and depressing. It sounded like something that should be played at a funeral. They were also padded in white leather making it feel like a psych ward. It was made that way so if anyone was to get thrown into the walls while in it no one would get hurt. Simple enough logic I guess. I got to the stairs and took them two at a time. I was so ready to just go into the office and relax for a bit, and perhaps talk to Avery.

When I got to the office it was still locked. Great he’s still out and about somewhere. Just have to wait to talk to him when he gets back then. I thought while unlocking the door. Inside the office it was dark and quiet. I flipped on the lights and walked over to my desk. Tiny in size but it still worked for me. It had my laptop, piles of paperwork that I should probably get to, pictures of my family back home, pens, pencils, my U of A coffee mug, one of those big paperclip paperweight things, the walkie talkie all the dr’s have, and some other odds and ends.

I was just about ready to pull some files out and work on them when I heard over the walkie that the VA had just brought in a new patient. A male, 26 years of age. This vampire was definitely going to be one of my patient. Not that any other doctor couldn’t be his I guess, but they always tended to stick me with the ones closer to my age or younger. It was easier for us to get the vampires to talk if they had someone who could relate to them better.

Needless to say I just left the files on my desk, waiting to be worked on the nest time I decided to come back to the office. I grabbed my walkie and out the door I went.

Amberly's Chp 1

AMBERLY

It has been a good 6 months, since the night I lost my sister. Technically I didn’t lose her because she’s still running wild out there, but being bit by a vampire probably doesn’t do to much for your life. If that’s even what you want to call it after the fact.

I thought by now everything would be normal, as normal as things could be after vampires attack your family. They’re not though, my mom stills hobbles around the house like she’s in a daze. My dad well he spends even more of his time now with those “crazy bible walkers.” As, for me I’m just trying to get through 12th grade.


As I walk through the front door, I drop my hello kitty bag down on the stairs, and peer into the kitchen. To my surprise I see Shad sitting on the bar stool with his elbows on the counter talking away to my mom, who looks to be engaging in the conversation as well. So much for my mom and the daze theory. I think to myself, as I walk in the kitchen.

“Gracie bear!” My mom squeaks like a mouse. She drops what she’s doing, and runs over to me and throws her lanky arms around my neck and nearly squeezes me to death, which at this point doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. The death part.

‘”Mother.” I say trying to sound just as enthusiastic as her, but it comes off cold. I’m guessing the whole squeezing me until I pass out thing could have something to do with it too. I wiggle out of her death lock, and walk to the other side of the counter.

My mom just giggles and returns to her spot over by Shad, where all her cooking stuff seems to be thrown out.

I glance over at Shad, I notice him staring at me with those eyes that look almost like a deep violet flower, what are they called forget-me-nots, but I shake my head for a moment, and they’re back to a hazel color. He just nods at me, and returns his attention to my mom whose back to mixing whatever is in her bowl.

He begins to ask more about our family. My sister in particular. Oh no! Was all I could think. My mom is going to lose it right here. Thanks a lot you insensitive, jack ass. Haven’t you heard the stories at school in the last 6 months. Now I was furious. I was on the verge of telling him to get the hell out when my mom just looked up at him and calmly replied, ‘What’s there to say that the whole compound doesn’t already know..”

Shad shrugs his shoulders like he doesn’t have the slightest clue. “Don’t get me wrong Mrs. Ray I’ve heard the stories about your other daughter and what supposedly happened, but that’s exactly what they are stories.” “No one actually knows except for you and your family.” He continues.

I walk over to the other side of the counter and stare at him. I take in all his features I never really noticed before now. His sandy blonde hair that looks like it’s spent a little to much time in the sun. It hangs slightly over his eyes, his flawless skin, the lips that have that certain curve to them when he smiles, the long arms that aren’t overly muscular. Actually they’re just the way I prefer. I’m a sucker for nice arms what can I say? Then there’s his body. The way the gray wife beater hugs close to his well-defined chest and abs. It’s enough to make any girl go crazy, but I try to remain calm and in control. The last thing I need is for him to think I have some crazy crush on him, for him to think I’m just like every other girl at our school. Maybe, a year ago that would have been true. I would have been all over him like syrup on a pancake. Things change, people change, life moves on whether we want it to or not.

My mom brings my attention back. “Gracie, if you’re going to stand there the least you could do is help with cutting the vegetables.” She slides the cutting board with the onions and a knife over to me.

Shad looks over at me now “Gracie huh?”
“It’s Amberly.” I say irritated while glaring at my mom.

“Then Gracie is what an alter-ego?” Shad looks at me with those eyes. I can‘t help but think I‘ve seen them somewhere before. I shake off the feeling, and answer “Alter-ego? Really? That‘s a super hero thing or a villain thing.” I was sure to emphasize on the villain part, although I’m not sure why. “Okay, maybe you are one then. Perhaps a villain.“ He grins at me. “I’m not a villain or anything else I’m just your average 12th grade girl.” I try and manage a smile, but it doesn’t work. “I don’t know about that. You’ve been through things no one here has. You’re definitely not average.” This was getting a little uncomfortable for me.

I look away from him and I grab the cutting board and the contents on it. “Nice Mom give me the onions because that‘s what I want to do for the next 20 minutes is cry.” I say, as it comes out meaner then I intended for it to.

“Would you rather chop up the garlic?” She asks while getting a pot and filling it up with water and sets it on the stove.

‘I’d rather not do any of this if you really want to know the truth.” I snap. “You know what forget it.” I push the cutting board back over to her. “Here’s an idea why not have you’re new friend here help you.’ “Then you could give the 411 on Emberlyn and all our lives.“ I say as I turn around to leave. I walk out of the kitchen knowing that both my mom and Shad are staring at me. My mom with her annoyed look, and Shad with a look of confusion. I make it to the stairs when I hear Shad and mom begin talking.

I hear Shad first, ‘Did I do something to offend her?” ’I wasn’t trying to if I did.”

“No, you didn’t Amberly is just having a hard time adjusting I think.” “She hasn’t been herself since the accident.” My mom goes on.

I no longer want to hear this conversation so I continue up to my room before entering I stop shy of the door and look in the direction of Emberlyn’s room. The door still covered in postcards of countries and places she wanted to visit, and right in the middle is the one picture I had done of her name in bubble letters and bright colors. I knew she hated it, anything bright was not her style yet she hung that proudly on her door. I made my way down the hall to her room, and slowly opened it. This was the first time since she changed/disappeared that I have been in it. As I walk in the memories of the night flood my mind, and I no longer can keep up this façade. I run over to her bed and fall on it. I begin to cry a much needed cry. The blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, everything smells like her. The vanilla scent is strong. I can tell it’s fading though, and soon I won’t have it to hang on too. I lay wrapped up in the covers. An accident that’s what my mother was calling it now. After months of calling it a punishment from God. Honestly, I didn’t care what she called it all I know is it took my sister, my best friend from me.

As I lay there I begin to drift off. In a world where everything is messed up and more people are turning to biting and sucking my dreams are a relief to fall into. At least I knew nothing bad could come from them. Then there she was staring at me from outside the school building as I sat in homeroom. My sister looking at me with her bright green eyes only not so bright anymore. They are dull, full of sadness, and hurt. I kept watching her, wanting her to do something, but nothing she just stood there. I realized that she was wanting me to come out there be with her. Before I knew it I was standing a few yards away. “Em, What’re you doing here? If anyone sees you they’re going to kill you. Go get out of here now!” I scream. Nothing. Then I hear it, laughing behind me. I turn around to see those vampires from the night my sister turned. “No, this can’t be Em, what’s going on? Why are they here?” I stumble over my words. Finally, she speaks, “It’s you Gracie…They want you.” “Gracie. You never call me that. You know I hate it.” I begin to cry. “It’s better this way Grace I promise. It’s you they wanted to begin with, I just got in their way.” I continue crying. I know longer want to be here. “I can do it for you. I can change you. They said I could.” A smile creeps across her face. Next thing I know she’s right by me breathing or whatever it is they do on me. I scream, “I don’t want to be undead. I don‘t want to be like you Emberlyn. Just leave me alone.”

Banging, I hear loud banging coming from somewhere, and that’s when I wake up.

“Amberly Grace open this door right now!” My dad yells as he continues his beating of the door.