Don't want to lose you (poem)

We never use to fight
everything between us
was always alright
I miss the times
we use to share
the way you were
always there...
What happened
to those times
I wish I could
just press rewind
I don't want
to lose you as a friend
I don't want
this friendship to end

3-31-07
I wrote this when a friend and I were having a bit of a fight I guess you could say. Now to this day I'm close to saying the friendship is probably over.

She's so unusual (poem)

She's So Unusual

She's so unusual
she no longer
the same
everythings different
she has herself
to blame
she's just
not herself
in her
own world
she lives
sad and alone
she has
nothing to give
her days
have darkened
her nights
have grown cold
there's no one around
there's no one to hold
she keeps
to herself
it's better
that way
no one to bother her
that's all she'll say -

2005

This was actually used as one of my MANY chatroom names, and from that I wrote this. Perhaps just a feeling I had at the time.

Death Wish (poem)

Which way should I go?
I just don't know

Everyday I cry inside
I can no longer deny

Everyday I just cry
No longer do I want to live a lie

Death seems like an easy way out
There is no doubt

Yes, it's forever why would I care
This pain inside I can't seem to bear

I've tried so hard to be strong
bu no longer can I go on

My life is worthless, it's plain to see
I'm a failure, a mistake, a screwup, that's me

7-1-00

This is one of those that I wrote at a really bad time, and at one point in time I really did feel like this. I was tired of being here.

I go through life (poem)

I go through life
thinking you're not there

I go through life
thinking you don't care

I go through life
thinking it's not fair
this pain I can no longer bear

Yeah my life is great it's true
then why do I always feel blue

I'm now scared of what I see
this can't possibly be the real me

As I've said, everyday's the same
there will never be anyone to blame

Days go by as iff they were years
every minute I try an keep back each tear.


6-17-2000

Start of something new!

I figured I have a few blogs for different things like: Books/reviews and personal. I had another one for reading/writing, but I didn't like it being together. Since, I had taken away the book part of it and made it into it's own little blog (which is awesomeness here) I figure why the hell not do the same for my writing. This is the final product. (okay so it's not a final product but it's okay) I always loved writing in some form. When I was in middle/high school I wrote poetry. (granted it sucked I still did) It was really a way for me to release my emotions. Trust me this way was a lot better than what I had wanted to do.

By the time I was in 10th grade I had met my writing buddy and best friend. We had met in english class because we ended up sitting at the same table. I think my fascination with actual story writing started when we began what we liked to call "our never-ending story" and to this day it never has ended really. We haven't written anything in it since 11th/12th grade probably but like I said nothing ever got resolved. It was a notebook we had (actually it made it to 2 notebooks). It wasn't written in true novel form either. It was as follows: Character A- Dialogue goes here. Character B- replies back with more dialogue. So it was sort of weird, but it worked for us. Our first one we did was about fairies/witches. The somewhat good fairies (hers) and somewhat bad witches (mine-I'm better with the evil characters). These fairies/witches lasted through 3 generations. If your wondering they did become friends. :) Our next little project was written the same way except it featured Vampires/Vampire Slayers. We have a few others we started, but never actually stuck with like the previous two. (I think it's because we grew up some and got jobs, and lives :( )

Now we've decided we want to write an actual book. She's already had a small book published called Heinous Crimes,Immoral Minds that's out on amazon.

Ash