Tuesday, September 13, 2011


I like to think at one point in time I knew what it was like to be in love, but I was stupid and felt like I needed to have someone. Now I think how can you be in love or even like someone whom you've never met and never talked to on the phone. I guess you would call me a pessimst at this point in time I don't believe in love really. I've seen friends and family get hurt by it. I'm not to much in a rush to get hurt by anyone or anything right now.

They're not really like the normal love ones. Mine are more of love loss poems or dreamin of the right love. At one point in time I thought I was in love, but I was stupid and the whole idea behind the "so-called relationship" was crap to be quite honest. I mean how can you honestly say you love someone or even like someone you've never met or never talked to like voice to voice. Hey call me a pessimist but that's what I believe. I've seen friends and family get hurt because of love like this, and I'd rather just not go through anymore pain then I have to. I guess basically my question is how can you love someone if you don't them. It's hard enough to love people you know and you're around all the time so why.....why put yourself through something that's not necessary? 

Two thoughts yet both the same.
As of right now these are linked to an old poetry site


Death is definitely not something to take lightly. Remember when reading these they are feelings I had back in middle school. These are my versions of suicide poems if you tend to take things seriously please do not read them.
I'm giving you a warning now.
None are actually true.
NOTE: None of the poems are actually up yet.



What defines a friend? Have you ever stopped to wonder what a friend really is? What makes a person a friend? How do you define one? Is it someone who you've known all your life, or maybe someone you met recently. Do you talk to them everyday, or maybe just once a week? Some would say a friend is there for you when you're down. They listen to your problems. They try to help you when things aren't going right. They're always there for you through thick and thin, good times and bad. They stick up for you when others try to put you down. Is that all there really is to friendship though? Think about it! Then you don't just have friends you have acquaintances, best friends, and so forth and so on. How do you choose which goes from one to the next. The amount of time you see them, talk to them.


I Never thought

I never thought

Written 5-10-02
I never thought that this could happen
Ever happen to me
I never thought that this would happen
Ever happen to me
I never thought I could cry forever
Because forever is way too long
I never thought I could be so down
To where I didn't want to be around
I never thought I would want to die
Die because my life is hell
I never thought my life would end
Would end so painfully
I never thought I would see the day
The day my parents would get divorced
I never thought our fammily would be so unhappy
That this is what it would come to
I guess I never thought at all
That a family I could love so much
Would ever do this to me



I never thought

See this is me

Alright, you know how they say a picture is worth a thousand...umm...something. These definitely aren't. They are in fact pictures of myself which is why they're worthless. I'm just trying to show you who I am while trying to find the right picture. Don't ask what the right picture is because I don't know.

Vision This

This is how I picture my book cover to look. Now don't get to excited because I haven't actually started writing it. Okay, I lie...I've written like 10 pages in a spiral notebook back when I was in high school. I'm probably going to scrap those and start over. Maybe, I'll add some parts from that though just for an idea.

1.) I wrote in 3rd person and when I started up again I was writing in first person.  I really don't know which I prefer. I thought that first person would be easier, but I was reading where it's harder for new writers to write in first person. -shrugs-
2.) I went back and decided to rename all my characters. I like unique names that fit the character.
3.) I had some new plots I wanted to add, and I don't think I could have with the way it was going.

Now as you can see I picked a title, but I'm not sure I'm going to stick with it. When I first started this idea I had picked another one entitled Whose life? then I thought Dreaming Wide Awake. So I'm still going over it in my head. I know you may not understand the reasoning behind the titles so here's a little something to help you out. Maybe.

"Knowing a persons fate is easy, it’s forgetting that fate that’s truly hard. If  
I knew that it would turn out to be the “happily ever after” ending it wouldn’t be as bad, but knowing they never stand a chance well it pretty much sucks. Still, I want to save them, I believe I can save them, I have to save them. I can’t really explain why I see what I see. I can’t turn it on and off, and soon I’ll learn that I REALLY can’t save them."
My mom used to always tell me that what I could do was a gift, but honestly I didn’t see it that way. People always get hurt. How is seeing someone get hurt a gift? I can’t change the outcome. There’s really no rhyme or reason for them. You would think that since I don’t know these people that it wouldn’t even matter. What do I care if some thuggish looking boy meets his end while he shoots up? Or how about the older guy who is accused of sexually abusing his child, and he has so much guilt he kills himself? The prostitute who is beaten in the alley way just because she dresses sluttish? Did they deserve to meet their ends just because they did bad things in their lives? Should I care more if it is a single mother of 2, working two jobs, who gets hit by a drunk driver who lives? How about a little boy who has leukemia and the doctors only give him a month to live? Or those people who just happen to be in the wrong places at the wrong times? Do I give more attention to them. No, because there’s nothing I can do for any of them. Those lives are on a path. They were put in those situations for a reason. I can’t intervene. These are the things I see. Why? Your answer is as good as mine.
 Did you find that interesting? I hope so because at the moment that's all I have. Sad huh?

Monday, September 12, 2011

Untitles Book 2

This is actually a book that my friend and I had started. (Before some stuff went down between us. She somewhat apologized since then, but we have yet to actually talk.) Anyways, I figured since I had already written a few different "Chapters" I would just go ahead, and put them up here. Let me know what you think. I may put up what we had put together, and the back story to it at a later date.

My Characters:

-Reed Castle
Human, Shaggy brown hair, Born January 2,1994, 26 years old, dark green eyes, graduated from the University of Texas at Austin, he was offered a job worth a bit more then a new doctor usually gets but turned it down when he found an ad online for doctors who are more interested in "helping those who are less likely to be helped",so he's now a doctor intern at the S.M.R. under Dr. Sizemore.

Reed Chp 1

-Emberlyn Ray
Vampire, born July 23,1998, Named Emberlyn Fayth Ray, Nickname is Em or E.R, jet black wavy hair, hazel eyes, 22 years old, only one in her family turned into a vampire when the epidemic hit because she stepped in front to protect her younger sister, ran off to keep her family safe from herself, sister is Amberly, Emberlyn stumbled upon the Sacred Mortal Recovery (S.M.R) and checked herself in no longer wanting to be a vampire and wanting her family back.

Emberlyn's Prologue

-Amberly Ray
Human, Born June 3rd, 2002, Named Amberly Grace Ray, Reddish auburn hair with blonde streaks, 18 years old, green eyes, human attacked by a vampire but her sister Emberlyn got in the way of the attack and got bit, she wants to find her sister who took off after the attack.

Amberly Chp 1

-Zeke Thornes
Vampire, Born October 30,1996, Named Zeke Isaac Thornes, Spiky bluish black hair, 24 years old, piercing blue eyes, turned into a vampire on his own free will when a group of his friends and him thought it would be cool to hunt down the vampires hangout and change, turns out he was wrong, he can't be around his family because they want nothing to do with him.

Shad Martin
Vampire, posing as a human, 19 years old, goes to school with Amberly, brown short hair, green eyes,

Poetry from a Different Mind

Growing up, I always thought I had a pretty good child hood, and up until my teenage years I did. It's weird how you don't fully realize how good you had it until you lose it. Let's see up until my 6th grade year I had the "picture perfect family" or so I thought. I don't remember exactly how I was told that my mom had left, but I do remember that it hurt...alot. After that everything just didn't seem to matter anymore. My mom meant alot to me, and at 13 or 14 years old that's when a girl needs her mom the most. (In my opinion anyways)

Although I didn't actually start writing until I was older I think that was probably a major breaking point for me.


Death Wish

I Go Through Life
She's So Unusual


Don't Want to Lose You



About the Author


NAME: Ashley O
NICKNAMES: Ash (people are so original huh?)
D-O-B: April 4,1986
SIGN: Aries
HOMETOWN: Benbrook, Texas
OCCUPATION: CPhT (Certified Pharmacy Tech)


Saturday, January 15, 2011

Reed Chpt 1


In the short time I have been working at S.M.R. I have seen my share of deaths maybe more than one person should, but I knew it would happen going into this field. Also by doing so I knew that I could help those who others deemed as “unworthy.”

The little blonde girl in room 102 was one of my latest patient. Like all the other younger patients I had high hopes that she would pull through the treatment. As most of our younger vampires frequently did. This was something I and Dr. Sizemore had been working on. We were trying to understand why it happened this way. Why the younger a vampire is the easier the serum seems to take to the blood. Sadly, though this case took a turn for the worse. As Dr. Sizemore study the young vampire. He had the look I knew all to well. As much as he wanted the girl to live, we both knew it wasn’t going to happen. The serum and sedative had done more damage to the girls body then it had good. But the good ‘ole Dr wouldn’t give up he’d try anything to “save” the girl if it meant giving this child her life back and a child back to her parents.

“Dr. Castle, there’s one other option, but it could be tricky with her.” I looked at him about to ask what he was talking about when the girl stopped struggling. The monitor flat lined. We were to late.

When these deaths happened Dr. Sizemore was not the one to stand around for to long and mourn. He always told me for every one we lose there are four others that we save.

“Dr. Sizemore….” Before I could finish my sentence he was heading out of the room.

“Dr. Castle.” That’s all he needed to say. Those two words with his tone of voice was enough for me to know this conversation was intended for closed office talk between me and him only.

I preceded to follow him, but not before glancing back at my nurses.

Looking over at Brylynn I could see she was saddened. Her eyes always gave her away, and not just because she was crying. To me she seemed like she wanted to save the world one vampire at a time. That was a lot for one person, but I admired her for it. I looked over at Wendy who throughout everything that just happened was calm even though I knew it had to have broken her heart to, even for a vampire she showed more compassion for us mortals then our own did at times.

I had learned the hard way that a lot of people didn’t feel the same way the staff here at S.M.R felt. It was sad really! These patients were people regardless of what the news and media called them.

Passing the guards on my way out I nod to them. “Evening ya’ll.” They returned the gesture, Julian (I believe that’s his name) even replies, “Same to you Dr. Castle.” as he walks over to Brylynn.

I leave the room and head down the hall to find Dr. Sizemore. The man just disappears sometimes.

It’s about 8:30pm now. It’s the time most of the vampires are waking up. Some stay holed up in their rooms for fear of what they might do, others are out and about the Center.

On my way to find Avery I stop in on a few of my other patients rooms to check on them.

In room 113, I have an older, gentleman, around the age of 50. I knock on his door and announce that it’s just me, Dr. Castle, because I learned early on that it’s better to announce yourself. Some patients are not eager to have new faces in their rooms.

“Dr, come in.” he said.

As I open the door and walk in I look around the room, it’s pitch dark. All I can see is his outline sitting in the chair over by his window.

“Is it alright to turn on the light Mr. Clem?” as I stumble my way over to the side table with the lamp on it.

“If you wish I shall not stop you.” He sits perfectly still in his chair. I fumble with the lamp and finally manage to turn it on. I look up and over at the older Vampire.

I walk over to him, “Mr. Clem, are you reading in the dark?”

It shouldn’t of surprised me I knew all to well that vampires had extraordinary abilities. One of which was seeing perfectly well in the dark.

“Yes, Dr. sadly I am. It’s amazing what you learn from books when you read them over and over again.” He sets the book on his lap and continues on “I spent most my life teaching history to the kids. You would think I would know everything there is to know, but I don’t.’ His voice trails off.

I look at him, his gray thinning hair, hazel eyes, his bushy gray eyebrows, the mustache that looked like the kfc dudes . He reminds me of what a History teacher would look like.

“I’m sure you were a great teacher Sir. Those kids were lucky to have you as one.” I could spot the signs of depression easily, and he was extremely close to that state.

“Yes, I suppose, but those kids compared me to all those younger, hip teachers they brought in. They didn’t know any better and they just didn‘t care about history especially the way I taught it.”

I sat at the foot of his bed . Rubbing my chin with my hand. I considered what to say next not wanting to push it to far. “Well that school has no idea what an intelligent man you are. It’s their loss.” I smile awkwardly at him.

Mr. Clem looked at me in almost a regretful way. “Well we all do stupid things that in the end only make things worse. Don’t you forget that Dr. Castle.” His eyes returned to his book and he picked it up form his lap. I got up from the bed and began to leave contemplating what he could have meant by that. Was he trying to tell me more of his story? The only things I knew about him were things that had been written into the report which wasn‘t very much, but I didn’t see how it was relevant to what we had just talked about.


‘Yes, Mr. Clem?”

“Could you please get the light. It would be greatly appreciated.”

“Yes, Sir.” I walked to the night stand and turned the light back off and again stumbled my way back to the door. I took one last look at him and just couldn’t help but wonder. I walked out and shut the door behind me.

Passing the patients in the hallways I always get nods, what’s ups, hellos, and how are yous. It’s always nice. Even if their not my patients most of them know me. I can honestly say that a few of the female patients and probably nurses here have a thing for me. They look at me, I know because watching people is somewhat of a hobby for me. It helps me learn about them. It’s a dr thing apparently because I’ve noticed Dr. Sizemore and a few others doing it too. Anyways, I try not to think to much about it because truthfully nothing would ever happen. Simple as that back home in Texas it was the same way, the girls always took an interest in me and because they did I had my share of girlfriends. It never worked out for me with any of them. Stupid and young was not a good combo it made me very arrogant and it ruined relationships, or maybe it was the fact that I had more than 1 relationship going. So I’m trying to work on it, trying to leave that me back in Texas. Now I like to think I grew up some, but no ones perfect so of course I was seeing someone who worked here.

“Oh, Dr.?’ Turning around to the sound of her voice, there she stood just as perfect as ever. Even in scrubs she looked good.

I smile at her “Allison, you’re here late.”

She just grins, “Yes, Dr. I figured I could use a few extra hours and since my favorite Dr. is working tonight it would be a bonus. Don‘t you agree?”

I can’t help but smile. “Yes, I believe that is what they would call a bonus.”

Allison walks over to me and kisses me on the cheek, “So what is on our agenda for tonight?”

I shake my head, “Ally, we have the schedule worked out already. Nurse Brylynn is the one on my rotation tonight, but you can do me a favor and go see if she has the paperwork done for Kelly Baker, and bring it to me. I’ll be in Dr. Sizemore’s office.”

I had yet to get my own office so I shared one which was fine I learned a lot by being able to sit in there while Dr. Sizemore was right beside me.

“Fine.” Allison stomped off towards the nurses’ station.

“Thank you Ally.” She was already half way down the hall though so she didn’t hear me or she was ignoring me now. My guess was the second. Allison was one of those girls that was use to getting her way, and if she didn’t well let’s just say you had to spend a lot of time saying sorry or buy her something most normal people didn’t have money to buy.

I walked down the long maze of hallways in the building towards the stairs. I hated elevators, and tried to avoid them at all cost. The music that played in them was just eerie and depressing. It sounded like something that should be played at a funeral. They were also padded in white leather making it feel like a psych ward. It was made that way so if anyone was to get thrown into the walls while in it no one would get hurt. Simple enough logic I guess. I got to the stairs and took them two at a time. I was so ready to just go into the office and relax for a bit, and perhaps talk to Avery.

When I got to the office it was still locked. Great he’s still out and about somewhere. Just have to wait to talk to him when he gets back then. I thought while unlocking the door. Inside the office it was dark and quiet. I flipped on the lights and walked over to my desk. Tiny in size but it still worked for me. It had my laptop, piles of paperwork that I should probably get to, pictures of my family back home, pens, pencils, my U of A coffee mug, one of those big paperclip paperweight things, the walkie talkie all the dr’s have, and some other odds and ends.

I was just about ready to pull some files out and work on them when I heard over the walkie that the VA had just brought in a new patient. A male, 26 years of age. This vampire was definitely going to be one of my patient. Not that any other doctor couldn’t be his I guess, but they always tended to stick me with the ones closer to my age or younger. It was easier for us to get the vampires to talk if they had someone who could relate to them better.

Needless to say I just left the files on my desk, waiting to be worked on the nest time I decided to come back to the office. I grabbed my walkie and out the door I went.

Amberly's Chp 1


It has been a good 6 months, since the night I lost my sister. Technically I didn’t lose her because she’s still running wild out there, but being bit by a vampire probably doesn’t do to much for your life. If that’s even what you want to call it after the fact.

I thought by now everything would be normal, as normal as things could be after vampires attack your family. They’re not though, my mom stills hobbles around the house like she’s in a daze. My dad well he spends even more of his time now with those “crazy bible walkers.” As, for me I’m just trying to get through 12th grade.

As I walk through the front door, I drop my hello kitty bag down on the stairs, and peer into the kitchen. To my surprise I see Shad sitting on the bar stool with his elbows on the counter talking away to my mom, who looks to be engaging in the conversation as well. So much for my mom and the daze theory. I think to myself, as I walk in the kitchen.

“Gracie bear!” My mom squeaks like a mouse. She drops what she’s doing, and runs over to me and throws her lanky arms around my neck and nearly squeezes me to death, which at this point doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. The death part.

‘”Mother.” I say trying to sound just as enthusiastic as her, but it comes off cold. I’m guessing the whole squeezing me until I pass out thing could have something to do with it too. I wiggle out of her death lock, and walk to the other side of the counter.

My mom just giggles and returns to her spot over by Shad, where all her cooking stuff seems to be thrown out.

I glance over at Shad, I notice him staring at me with those eyes that look almost like a deep violet flower, what are they called forget-me-nots, but I shake my head for a moment, and they’re back to a hazel color. He just nods at me, and returns his attention to my mom whose back to mixing whatever is in her bowl.

He begins to ask more about our family. My sister in particular. Oh no! Was all I could think. My mom is going to lose it right here. Thanks a lot you insensitive, jack ass. Haven’t you heard the stories at school in the last 6 months. Now I was furious. I was on the verge of telling him to get the hell out when my mom just looked up at him and calmly replied, ‘What’s there to say that the whole compound doesn’t already know..”

Shad shrugs his shoulders like he doesn’t have the slightest clue. “Don’t get me wrong Mrs. Ray I’ve heard the stories about your other daughter and what supposedly happened, but that’s exactly what they are stories.” “No one actually knows except for you and your family.” He continues.

I walk over to the other side of the counter and stare at him. I take in all his features I never really noticed before now. His sandy blonde hair that looks like it’s spent a little to much time in the sun. It hangs slightly over his eyes, his flawless skin, the lips that have that certain curve to them when he smiles, the long arms that aren’t overly muscular. Actually they’re just the way I prefer. I’m a sucker for nice arms what can I say? Then there’s his body. The way the gray wife beater hugs close to his well-defined chest and abs. It’s enough to make any girl go crazy, but I try to remain calm and in control. The last thing I need is for him to think I have some crazy crush on him, for him to think I’m just like every other girl at our school. Maybe, a year ago that would have been true. I would have been all over him like syrup on a pancake. Things change, people change, life moves on whether we want it to or not.

My mom brings my attention back. “Gracie, if you’re going to stand there the least you could do is help with cutting the vegetables.” She slides the cutting board with the onions and a knife over to me.

Shad looks over at me now “Gracie huh?”
“It’s Amberly.” I say irritated while glaring at my mom.

“Then Gracie is what an alter-ego?” Shad looks at me with those eyes. I can‘t help but think I‘ve seen them somewhere before. I shake off the feeling, and answer “Alter-ego? Really? That‘s a super hero thing or a villain thing.” I was sure to emphasize on the villain part, although I’m not sure why. “Okay, maybe you are one then. Perhaps a villain.“ He grins at me. “I’m not a villain or anything else I’m just your average 12th grade girl.” I try and manage a smile, but it doesn’t work. “I don’t know about that. You’ve been through things no one here has. You’re definitely not average.” This was getting a little uncomfortable for me.

I look away from him and I grab the cutting board and the contents on it. “Nice Mom give me the onions because that‘s what I want to do for the next 20 minutes is cry.” I say, as it comes out meaner then I intended for it to.

“Would you rather chop up the garlic?” She asks while getting a pot and filling it up with water and sets it on the stove.

‘I’d rather not do any of this if you really want to know the truth.” I snap. “You know what forget it.” I push the cutting board back over to her. “Here’s an idea why not have you’re new friend here help you.’ “Then you could give the 411 on Emberlyn and all our lives.“ I say as I turn around to leave. I walk out of the kitchen knowing that both my mom and Shad are staring at me. My mom with her annoyed look, and Shad with a look of confusion. I make it to the stairs when I hear Shad and mom begin talking.

I hear Shad first, ‘Did I do something to offend her?” ’I wasn’t trying to if I did.”

“No, you didn’t Amberly is just having a hard time adjusting I think.” “She hasn’t been herself since the accident.” My mom goes on.

I no longer want to hear this conversation so I continue up to my room before entering I stop shy of the door and look in the direction of Emberlyn’s room. The door still covered in postcards of countries and places she wanted to visit, and right in the middle is the one picture I had done of her name in bubble letters and bright colors. I knew she hated it, anything bright was not her style yet she hung that proudly on her door. I made my way down the hall to her room, and slowly opened it. This was the first time since she changed/disappeared that I have been in it. As I walk in the memories of the night flood my mind, and I no longer can keep up this façade. I run over to her bed and fall on it. I begin to cry a much needed cry. The blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, everything smells like her. The vanilla scent is strong. I can tell it’s fading though, and soon I won’t have it to hang on too. I lay wrapped up in the covers. An accident that’s what my mother was calling it now. After months of calling it a punishment from God. Honestly, I didn’t care what she called it all I know is it took my sister, my best friend from me.

As I lay there I begin to drift off. In a world where everything is messed up and more people are turning to biting and sucking my dreams are a relief to fall into. At least I knew nothing bad could come from them. Then there she was staring at me from outside the school building as I sat in homeroom. My sister looking at me with her bright green eyes only not so bright anymore. They are dull, full of sadness, and hurt. I kept watching her, wanting her to do something, but nothing she just stood there. I realized that she was wanting me to come out there be with her. Before I knew it I was standing a few yards away. “Em, What’re you doing here? If anyone sees you they’re going to kill you. Go get out of here now!” I scream. Nothing. Then I hear it, laughing behind me. I turn around to see those vampires from the night my sister turned. “No, this can’t be Em, what’s going on? Why are they here?” I stumble over my words. Finally, she speaks, “It’s you Gracie…They want you.” “Gracie. You never call me that. You know I hate it.” I begin to cry. “It’s better this way Grace I promise. It’s you they wanted to begin with, I just got in their way.” I continue crying. I know longer want to be here. “I can do it for you. I can change you. They said I could.” A smile creeps across her face. Next thing I know she’s right by me breathing or whatever it is they do on me. I scream, “I don’t want to be undead. I don‘t want to be like you Emberlyn. Just leave me alone.”

Banging, I hear loud banging coming from somewhere, and that’s when I wake up.

“Amberly Grace open this door right now!” My dad yells as he continues his beating of the door.

Emberlyn's Prologue


If you were to ask me what I wanted to do after graduation, my answer would be the same as any other normal blooded teenager, “I have no freaking clue”. Only a small percentage of high school students have a plan in place and more power to them. That just means they will probably be the ones to get into those high tech fancy colleges. Having a “plan” was at the bottom of my to-do list. I just wanted to graduate from high school and be free for awhile. Whether that was a couple of months or years, who knew. I wanted to be free from homework, classes, teachers, and the “fellow classmates” that irritated me. My parents had an entirely different plan for me. After graduation, I would go to one of those high-tech, fancy, run of the mill colleges. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. They made sure my SAT scores were at an “acceptable” level and I had an application to every major university. Need-less to say, having my future decided for me wasn’t a thrilling idea and to my surprise, I’d soon get my way.

I would never have to be a college student. Never having to share a cramped dorm with some roommate who‘d either be “off her rocker” or an uptight book worm. I wouldn’t have a seat in a room full of 60 something classmates with one of those professors who you love to hate. You know? That teacher who would try to be cool despite the fact that the class was a 10 on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the most boring. I’d never experience the crazy party nights and knowing I have a final the next day, wake up so ridiculously hung-over. I’d be late for class because I’d spend the first half of the morning perched over the porcelain potty exposing the meals of the day before.

Probably the most important thing I’d never get to experience is the whole soul mate thing. Lets face it, once you’re dead… you’re soul-less. That’s the controversy right now, at least. With that being said, how can you have a “soul mate” if you have no soul? It's weird how once you lose the chance at having the things you never really cared about in life, you automatically want. These are some of the things that my brain has held onto since being in my “dead state”, as I like to call it.

I'll be the first one to say that the idea of being undead used to be somewhat alluring to me. Why wouldn’t it be? All the tales of being young, powerful, indescribably beautiful forever is intriguing. People are willing to give up their souls to become something more. Sure, who needs a soul when you can live an eternal life, even if it’s sure to be damned? I blame all the hype from the books and movies. It may sound graceful and awesome in theory and on pages, but in reality… it bites, so to speak. When it first started, "the V Epidemic", and it spread the way it did, I wasn’t surprised. The only problem, it wasn't the way we, as humans had imagined. It was chaos to put simply. It had taken over our world and we were the aliens of our planet. Everyone in the world began taking their own precautions against this virus, or as the scientist were calling it; the red plague, V epidemic, or bat virus.

My family and I were one of the few that got lucky and found help. Nearing a year into the break-out, we moved into some compound that was supposedly going to be our Safe Haven. That’s a load of shit because there’s no place safe from vampires. If they want your blood they'll get it. No stupid electric fences, measly guard dogs, or machine guns are going to stop them.

After moving into the compound, my parents tried bringing us closer together. We had family game nights, which was not a good idea because we were all poor sports. None of us wanted to lose, would fight over who won and accuse each other of cheating. Even though it was obvious the parents cheated. I knew it, my sister knew it and my parents for damn sure knew. So then our evening of spending quality time together would be ruined. My family trying to play games is like being on Dr. Phil, it brings out the worst in people.

We also started going to church on Sundays, Wed, and some Saturdays. Who needs to go to church three days a week? It’s not going to make you any more spiritual than the next person. You can’t be out doing the Lords work if you’re stuck in His house right? Maybe my dad just assumed that by going so much it would keep us cleansed of the Vampire Virus, and pure from whatever evil was out beyond our electric fences. We rarely ever went to church before this happened. In fact, my dad used to make fun of the “Bible Walkers”, as he called them. I always told him he would burn in hell for that but maybe being converted saved him.
Now my dad’s out preaching with the Bible Walkers. Still, he’s my dad and his philosophy is, the time we spend together is important and we should enjoy one another because we never knew when it might be our last. I guess I never realized how true that was. At the time, my thought’s were “Dad’s just being an overdramatic, overprotective father and husband”. Truthfully, wasn't that suppose to be the woman’s job to be overdramatic? Adding to the new family lifestyle, we would sit around the dinner table to eat rather than scatter through-out the house like before. We talked about what went on during the day, which made supper the normal part of the day. My younger sister Amberly would gush about some hot guy that was in her class at school. This boy’s family had supposedly moved into the Haven at the start of the school year. The way Amberly described him sounded like he was a god or something. I envied my younger sister. For her, everything was always so easy. That’s always frustrated me. Guessing that since I was the older one, to my mother, that meant I should act more maturely.

That’s where my weakness came into play. Feeling like the middle child, I always felt obligated to please everyone even if it made me miserable.

My mom would always tell me, “Emberlyn you need to take notes from our little Gracie here. She’s on her way to becoming an amazing young lady” Mom’s always called Amberly by her middle name and that drove my sister crazy, Amberly and I always wondered why mom didn’t just name her Gracie to begin with it. Maybe it’s because mom had a fascination with wordplay. It’s one of the little quirks that made her “mom” along with lot of other things that we found odd. Hearing my mom nonchalantly tell me Amberly was her favorite was like a knife through my heart.

During family dinners, Dad would fill us in on what was happening outside the Haven’s walls which grew boring very fast. My Mom would then proceed to add all the gossip she had heard from the others in the compound, which was at least a good 20 minutes of nothingness. As soon as I’d start to doze off, Amberly would kick me from under the table and my parents would give me the looks only disapproving parents can give. As we’d finish up dinner and each of us did our part in cleaning, we would wander our own ways. My dad would disappear to his study, mom kept on cleaning, and Amberly and I went to our rooms. Unless is was Friday, then we’d be in the living room watching Supernatural.

The last night I saw my family was a Friday. Amberly and I had just settled on the couch. Just as Supernatural’s theme song started to play, we heard what could only be described as a horror film scream coming from my mom in the kitchen. My dad, who raced from the other end of the house was beside my sister and I and before we could reach the kitchen, glass from the shattered living room window flew at us. Dad threw his arms around us, shielding us from the glass. In an instant, we’re looking up at three dark figures standing in front of us. One girl and the other two men, they all had black hair and dark eyes. The clothes they had on resembled that of a young biker gang with leather pants, combat boots and torn shirts. I remember the taller male glaring at me with a devilish grin and I knew we were going to die. A fourth vampire coming from the kitchen had mom in an headlock with her back pressed against him. His hair was black and spiked and his eyes were an indigo blue. So tall, I could swear he nearly hit our ceiling. Stopping a few feet from us, he pulled mom’s short brown-hair to one side, exposing her neck. Slowly, this thing brought his mouth down to her neck. The other three watched impatiently as their leader, from the looks of it, was about to have my mom for dinner.

My baby sister on the other side of my dad, was frozen under his right arm. In the dim light, I could see the tears glistening off her cheekbones. My dad’s chin was lowered on my sisters shoulder like he was going to tell her something and he too had tears hanging off his cheeks. I’ve never seen my dad shed tears, not even at funerals. He always kept his emotions neutral. Staring at my dad and Amberly, they looked so helpless. Wanting to feel strong, I would of given anything that night to comfort them, but I too was frozen with fear. The stench of death was over-whelming in the room. Then the female vampire spoke with a foreign accent, so thick I couldn’t understand a word. That’s when the vampire with my mother jerked his head up from the biting position and glared over at us. Looking at me, my dad, and last my sister, he threw my mom against the living room wall where our family picture had been hanging. My mother lay there, now unconscious.

The terrifying vampire started to move towards Amberly and snatched her out of my dads trembling arms. That apparently excited the other three killers.
Somewhere in my mind it hit me they were going to turn my sister and kill the rest of us, if my mom wasn’t already dead by how hard she hit the wall. Call it being a protective sister or suicidal but all I remember is running towards the bastard holding Amberly. Then I blacked out. That’s all my memory saved besides the sound of my dad and sister screaming and the sharp pain and burning sensation coursing its way through my veins.

So why might you ask am I telling you all of this? Well, because that's where my life ended and my "Undead" life begins.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Prologue: Live's Dream

I was to the point where I wanted to scream, make a run for it, get the hell away from whatever this dark- shadowed figure was forming right in front of me. The only problem was I couldn’t move I was more or less stuck in place. I mean, my whole body was telling me to go…leave… that whatever this thing was, well it wasn’t good. My mind and oddly enough my heart were telling me just the opposite. Even though this thing looked like hell rising it wasn’t here to scare me or do anything remotely dangerous to me. That was like me to think that it was harmless. I’m a complete dumbass, I know and I just stood there and watched.

Out of my peripheral vision I could see buildings. Okay, those definitely weren’t there a second ago. As the shadow started taking on a solid form the background behind it became clearer too. I tried to focus every ounce of my mind on what was behind. A big building, double doors, a sign above with writing. What did the writing say? Damn it to hell I can’t read it. My eyes just aren’t adjusting like they should, and instead of me focusing on the half materialized person in front I continue to stare at the doors. Why? I honestly can’t say. It’s just they’re so mesmerizing. It’s at that moment the thing leaps towards me, but to my surprise and horror I’m ripped away from it.

I open my eyes only to find I’m standing in a long aisle. I begin to follow the thick plushy red carpet to the front of the..well I’m not sure yet. As I approach the front of the building it appears to have an altar lit with candles, a grand organ, and a row of benches. My eyes travel upwards and land on the most beautiful, most vibrant, most colorful (I could probably use most a few more times, but I’ll spare you) stained glass window ever. Intertwined in it are two people who look vaguely familiar, but not so much. Hum does that even make sense?

Still in somewhat of a daze, I scan the area around me more closely now. Then I realize I’m in a church. Of all the places in the world. How did I end up in a church when I clearly was just… Well I don’t know where I was before this. My thoughts now jumping from one thing to another. I then look back up at the glass. I notice now how different the two people in it are. How if you look at it one way you see peace, calmness in the world. It’s light, and strong yet innocent and pure. Then if you look at it with a slightly different angle you see the destruction, the chaos among people, the darkness, the empty void, guilty pleasure, and of course sins. I stare amazed at how much this one window can say.

Finally I decide that I’m not going anywhere soon so I sit down in the first pew. I lean up against the stained hard wood backing, and push the interracially-woven red cushions with my hands. Comfy! I again glance around the church to take in more of it. The high-balanced roof that comes to a point above the glass. The way the roof itself seems to be painted like the heavens, blue skies with white cotton like clouds and every once in awhile I catch a glimpse of a rainbow shining between the clouds. Then there’s the chandeliers that blend in well making it look like the light is just floating in a vast of nothingness.

Why is that when we dream, everything always seems perfect? I mean this all…. it’s just a very vivid, complex dream as far as I’m concerned.

I start to close my eyes to see if maybe I can wake myself up, and that’s when I hear it. My name. Someone is saying my name.

A woman’s voice sweet and melodically it’s as if she’s almost singing it, but what frightens me the most about the voice is I know it. In the deepest part of my mind I’ve always known it.